I recently heard of the concept of “insecure overachievers”.
People that accomplish many impressive things but never enjoy their accomplishments because even if they have much outward success, they never feel like meeting their relentless inner standards.
So they keep pursuing bigger goals in the hopes that someday, if the achievement is impressive enough, they will finally feel satisfied with themselves.
I can certainly see myself there, and perhaps because of the education system and the hustle culture, more and more people feel the same way.
Here’s a strategy that will help:
1# – Let go of your standards
If your internal standard for feeling satisfied with your work, is perfection.
It doesn’t really matter how hard you work, you will never feel satisfied, because flawless work is impossible.
And the trap is thinking that we need that standard of perfection—that without it, we cannot produce good work.
Maybe it is true that if we worry every hour of the day about our work being perfect, it will come out just a little better.
But how much is that improvement? 5% better? Perhaps 10% better?
So you are saying that you are willing to sacrifice your life enjoyment, so you can worry about 5-10%?
If you were to die right now, would you be glad that you spent so much of your time worrying and feeling like you are ever enough?
Probably not.
Also, enjoying your work or having fun shouldn’t be another standard to meet as well.
It turns out, if you focus too much on having fun, the harder it is to have fun.
Think about a kid playing with LEGOs. He isn’t thinking about needing to have fun and certainly isn’t thinking about making the perfect LEGO castle.
He is just playing.
The bottom line?
In the absence of standards, an effortless joy emerges.
Next time you find yourself doing an activity and feeling the pressure of needing it to be perfect, trust yourself to let go of your standards for a moment. You might be surprised by the result.
Bringing it home
Perfectionism is a trap. Not only is it impossible to produce flawless work, but all that incessant worrying robs us of the joy and satisfaction that come from letting go of those relentless internal standards.
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— Idris Moura
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