Most people (myself included) love to overcomplicate life.
The truth is:
You don’t need that much to have a happy fulfilling life.
It all comes down to your thinking and perspective about life.
And that’s what stoicism is all about, a philosophy that goes back more than 2 millennials.
Here are 3 principles from the Stoic philosophers to follow every day:
1. Speak the truth
On average, people tell one or two lies every day.
Telling those small lies doesn’t seem like a big problem at first, but they have a cost over the long term…
Every time you agree when you really don’t, when you say you are fine when you really aren’t, when you say it’s not a problem when it is a problem, even if the intention is out of kindness, your subconscious brain starts thinking:
If I am constantly lying out of “kindness”, then when other people are kind to me, they should be lying as well right?
And, when you lie and don’t express what you really think you fail to deeply connect with other people as well.
That’s why people who tell fewer lies in close relationships feel more comfortable and less lonely, while those who tell more lies in close relationships experience more discomfort. (Study)
The source of the problem is that when people say: “What’s your opinion?”, we assume they want to hear what will make them feel better, instead of our actual honest opinion, which is often not true.
When you ask your friend: “Does this shirt look good on me?” do you want him to lie out of kindness or tell you his real and honest opinion?
I am not saying you should be harsh and arrogant.
You can be honest and not be a dickhead, you can tell the truth with humility, not being judgemental of the other person.
2. Do the right thing
"Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter. Tired or well rested. Despised or honored."
The Stoics believed that all people know what is the right thing to do, and it is in our nature and duty to do so.
That when you refuse to do the right thing, you are going against your own nature.
The truth is:
We are all beautifully connected – when you choose to do the right thing for other people, you are doing the right thing for you, when you harm other people, you are harming yourself, when you help other people, you are helping yourself.
The bottom line?
As long as you are doing the right thing, that’s enough.
3. Focus on what is in your control
“You have power over your mind – not external events. Realize this and you will have strength.”
Stoic philosophers share a concept known as the Dichotomy Of Control.
In simple terms here’s what it means:
The economy, politics, and other people’s reactions and opinions are all things you can’t control.
If that’s the case, the Stoics say that we shouldn’t waste any energy on them.
Instead, what we should do is use that energy for the things that are actually in our control.
Bringing it home
Speak the truth: There is a hidden cost to lying. People who lie struggle to connect with people in a meaningful way.
Do the right thing: When you refuse to do the right thing, you are going against your own nature. When you help others, you are helping yourself.
Focus on what is in your control: You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to it.
Choose one insight from today and take action on it.
It’s always an honor to be in your inbox.
Chat soon,
— Idris Moura
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