You start that new exciting diet, exercise routine, business…
It goes well for the first couple of days.
And then something happens…
- The short exciting motivation from starting something new evaporates.
As it always does.
And you are left with nothing but the truth:
It’s a lot more uncomfortable than you thought it was going to be.
Because we often assume things are going to be easy, only because we want them to be easy.
At that point, you have 2 choices:
Surrender and acknowledge that it’s too uncomfortable and it’s not for you.
Keep going regardless of how uncomfortable and motivated you are.
I used to choose option 1 every time in my life.
If this resonates with you, keep reading till the end (number 3 is the most important)
Why is it important to embrace discomfort?
I want you to think about something about yourself that makes you proud.
Was it something that came easily and fast to you?
Probably not.
I bet it was a moment that you stepped out of your comfort zone, did something hard, something that you thought “was not for you”.
If things that are meaningful in our lives, all come from uncomfortable, hard, and often painful situations.
Wouldn’t it be much better if we started to embrace the uncomfortable?
To accept life as it is and not how we expect life to be (easy and fast).
How much faster do you think your growth personal and professional would be?
Here is the deal:
We live in a comfort crisis.
We engineered our lives to remove and distract us from all the uncomfortable situations.
But that comes at a huge cost.
Our mental and physical health are getting worse and worse:
The second leading cause of death is suicide among 15-29-year-olds globally.
Since 1975, the worldwide prevalence of obesity has nearly tripled.
- The second leading cause of death is among 15-29-year-olds globally.
The second leading cause of death is among 15-29-year-olds globally.
- Since 1975, the worldwide prevalence of has nearly tripled.
Since 1975, the worldwide prevalence of has nearly tripled.
Our happiness and quality of relationships are also worse than ever.
With the rise of the internet, we have become more connected than ever, but in contrast, we feel more disconnected than ever from one another.
Several studies point out that we report feeling much more lonely and depressed than we did in the past…
This provokes the bold suggestion that maybe we humans need to start looking again towards doing uncomfortable things that will make us better, healthier, and happier in all branches of life.
Instead of choosing the easy, comfortable, pleasurable, and instant gratifying things that are in every possible way, hurting us.
“You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft, that you will die without ever realizing your true potential.”
With that said,
I understand that it is easier said than done…
In part because we are “wired” to look for the comfortable things, and that’s exactly what we will talk about next:
Why is it hard to embrace the discomfort in life?
Your mind has trouble thinking in the long term.
It loves fast and easy rewards in the present, but when the reward is further down the line… even if the reward is bigger, it’s not so appealing.
There is a famous Stanford marshmallow experiment, that shows when given the option of one marshmallow now, or two upon waiting 15 minutes, most children won’t wait.
This cognitive bias is called the “Present Bias”.
It makes total sense from an evolutionary point of view.
Just imagine the life in our caveman days:
“The future is uncertain, make sure to eat as much as you can now, and to save as much energy as you can… because you never know the day of tomorrow.”
But as we have discussed before, it seems that the things that are meaningful in life, are very rarely: easy, fast, and comfortable.
It’s most often the opposite of that.
The rewards only come much further down the line.
Here is the good news:
There are several tools that we can use to take back control and stop the meaningless pursuit of comfort and pleasure, that is blocking our true potential and preventing us from living the life we want.
3 Tools to Start Embracing the Discomfort
1. Leverage the Power of 1% Improvements — Systems > Goals
If you weigh 130 pounds, losing 50 pounds might sound so far away from your current situation, that you freeze and fail to start working towards it.
That’s because we often assume that big results , come from big actions , but that’s not the case most of the time.
We overlook the power that our habits and small consistent improvements can have in our lives.
This infographic illustrates it very well:
You need to stop thinking in terms of big goals and instead think in terms of systems , smaller and reachable goals that you can achieve on a daily or weekly basis.
For example:
Instead of thinking in terms of losing 50 pounds, think about training [X] days per week, or loose [X] pounds per month.
That way the goal doesn’t overwhelm you so much, that you can’t start working towards it day by day .
These are the four laws to build a habit that sticks, that the author James Clear teaches in his best-seller book Atomic Habits:
Make it obvious: Set up cues in your surroundings, such as keeping your running shoes close to the door, to cause you to fall into your habit.
Make it attractive: Assign the habit to a pleasurable activity, such as working out to music.
Make it simple: Reduce resistance by preparing your gym clothes the night before, for example.
Make it satisfying: After you finish the habit, treat yourself right away. For example, after working out, reward yourself with your favorite treat.
2. Discipline > Motivation
We often think that motivation is the force that leads to action.
But that can’t be far from the real truth.
(I wrote an in-depth article that illustrates The Myth of Motivation if that interests you)
Motivation is not a prerequisite for action.
It’s actually the other way around.
You feel motivated after you take action.
So what you really need isn’t motivation, you need discipline.
“You feel motivated because you took action. Motivation is a result, not a precondition. You don’t need motivation to break a sweat. Break a sweat and you’ll feel motivated.”
When you hear discipline.
This is what most people hear:
Prison.
It prevents me from doing “what I want”.
Here’s the truth:
Discipline is freedom.
Instead of only acting towards your goals if you feel like it, it allows you to take back control of your life.
Allows you to strive to live the life that you want and be the best version of yourself.
When you hear discipline.
This is what most people hear:
Prison.
It prevents me from doing “what I want”.
Here’s the truth:
Discipline is freedom.
Instead of only acting towards your goals if you feel like it , it allows you to take back control of your life.
Allows you to strive to live the life that you want and be the best version of yourself.
3. Step Outside your Comfort Zone — Seek Challenges and Take Risks
“Start the business” — “Ask the girl out” — “Go to the gym” — “Run the marathon” — etc.
All people who have achieved high levels of success professionally and in life have a bias toward continuously challenging themselves and looking to expand their capabilities beyond their comfort zone.
“Comfortable and easy are short-term friends but long-term enemies. If you’re looking for growth, choose the challenge.”
That said, sometimes the challenges can be so overwhelming that they make us question if we have what it takes.
When you are in that situation, here is a reminder for you:
The feeling that you are feeling right now, is the exact feeling that you are supposed to feel — if it feels comfortable and easy, there won’t be growth in that. The fact that you feel uncomfortable, and feel like you don’t have what it takes, doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing it right. It means that you are exactly where you need to be and doing what you need to do, to be the best version of yourself.
“If it doesn’t challenge you. It dosen’t change you.”
Bringing it home
A quick review:
Being uncomfortable is extremely important to us, it’s how we grow in all branches of our life, and make us stay healthy and happy.
The mind struggles to think for the long term (present bias), that’s why it’s important to turn our goals into systems, small achievable goals that we can achieve on a regular basis.
Motivation comes from action, not the other way around, that’s why you need discipline — discipline will set you free.
Step outside your comfort zone and seek challenges, nothing grows inside the comfort zone.
I hope you got something valuable in this edition of Curiosity Fuel, and thank you for reading, it means the world.
It’s always an honor to be in your inbox, until next Sunday. 👋
— Idris Moura
